GRANDMOTHER'S LIBRARY: "They Popped My Hood and Found Gravy on the Dipstick" by Todd Barnes

If you want a book that will have you doubling over with laughter, THIS is the book to read!

It is an inspirational yet funny book about Todd Starnes' journey through heart surgery and weight loss.  I'm just going to quote some of my most favorite parts of the book here.

     "I hate butter!"
     My declaration was met with stunned silence around the Starnes family table.  I was just a little boy, not even seven years old, and my taste buds had not yet adjusted to the taste of cold yellow slabs of butter pasted onto fluffy biscuits.
     Mom was flustered.  "What do you mean you don't like butter? Of course you like butter. We're from the South. We're supposed to love butter."
     Indeed a Southern boy not liking butter is akin to a kid in the Bronx not liking the Yankees.  Uncle Jerry was so shocked he stopped gnawing on his pork chop and declared, "There's something wrong with that boy."  Uncle Jerry is from Coldwater, Mississippi, and folks there are prone to say things like that. "I told you that boy was too skinny."
     After recovering from the initial shock of the moment, Mom did what any God-fearing mom would do.  "We should pray," she said.
     "But we've already prayed, honey," said Dad, "Besides, the potatoes are getting cold."
     But when Mom said it was time to pray, it was time to pray.  The entire family joined hands and bowed our heads.  "Dear Jesus," Mom petitioned the Almighty, "thank You for butter.  Thank You for giving us the cows that gave us butter.  And thank You, Lord, for buttermilk biscuits on which we can place a dollop of butter. Because, Lord, we know that somewhere in the world tonight little children are going to bed without any butter at all. Amen."
     Well, good grief!  I was just seven years old. I didn't want to disappoint my mom and I sure didn't want to disappoint Jesus. So that day I started eating butter -- and never stopped.


   I just LOVE this chapter!  Another favorite part from this chapter reminds me of ME and my 'Fry day."  I used to fry up fish and/or chicken strips. And since the grease was hot, I would add fried green tomatoes, fried okra, fried dill pickles, fried cheese, fried squash, and french fries.  I had a friend's family over one time for lunch and she is the one who termed my day the 'Fry day'.  And one time a guest to one of my fish fries say she could feel the grease just dripping out of her pores.  I don't have these so much any more, but this sure makes me want to get out my 'Fry Daddy' and cook some chicken and fries.  This excerpt is from page 35:

     I'm not quite sure how we manage to do it, but Southerners have figured out a way to deep-fry the entire food pyramid -- from fried pork chops to deep-fried green beans.

     Hehe. I just get a kick out of this. And (although I did not attend the fair this year) I hear they had deep fried BUTTER!! What a HOOT! I should have gone just for THAT.

     The next chapter is about the author's move to California. He says "There are no fat people in California. I'm not sure why, but it could have something to do with their steady diet of tofu and tree bark.  And a fairly sizable chunk of the state appears to be the offspring of George Hamilton.  I've never seen so many well-tanned Americans.
     "And then, there was me -- a three-hundred-pound white guy with a pale complexion and a Southern accent.  I could just imagine the horror at the Sacramento Chamber of Commerce. 'Well, there goes the neighborhood.' I felt like a catfish at a sushi bar."
    When Starnes talks about trying to find his new apartment, he said he asked the policeman who said that Starnes must not be 'from around here,' he answered "What gave it away? My weight or my pasty white skin?"  Luckily the policeman didn't take offense and answered "Your license plate."
     And what a wonderful support system the author has in his friends and church family.  One gal organized a party to celebrate his surgery, calling it the 'Last Supper.' Almost sounds morbid, but it seemed like a fun idea for friends to help relieve the tension and fear that Todd was feeling before his surgery.  He even had a friend come spend a couple weeks with him before the surgery, and two couples who 'adopted' him for his after surgery care.  Todd is really a lucky man.

     Another hilarious part of the story is going in to take blood tests after the surgery. His blood has to be thin in order for the valve to work right. Anyway...

     My first visit did not go so well.  On paper, the Coumadin test isn't so bad.  The nurse pricks my finger with a tiny needle, draws a small amount of blood, and slaps on a bandage.  Unfortunately, I have a problem with needles.  As soon as she poked me, I passed out.  I fell right out on the floor. It was quite a scene.  The next week, it happened again.
     During my third visit, the nurse closed the door and gave me a stern look. "Mr. Starnes. I'm having a difficult day, so if you plan on passing out you'd better tell me now."  Would you believe I stayed upright? Who says tough love doesn't work? After my test, she even treated me to a lollipop.

     Starnes is not a married man, but wanted to find someone.  After his surgery he recalls beginning to date:

     The object of my affection was an amazingly beautiful and kind girl who worked at a coffee-house near my apartment.  She was always friendly, and it turned out she was also a Christian.  And when it came to making coffee, she really knew how to put the froth on my latte.  The hard part was figuring out how to invite her to dinner.  The first effort resulted in total failure. I worked myself up into such a frenzy I had to take a nitroglycerin tablet.  i regrouped and, the next morning, I found the courage to invite her to dinner.  When she accepted my invitation, I walked outside, slumped onto a park bench, and popped another nitroglycerin tablet.  "Sweet mercy," I said. "Dating is awesome, but it's going to kill me."

     The author then accepts a new job in New York. He uproots himself once more, and heads back east.  Thinking of all his wonderful friends who helped him through major surgery and recovery and helped put him on the road to weight loss and healthier living, he began feeling a bit sad.

     Boy, I sure could use a good dose of comfort.
      And a few miles down the road, my prayer was answered.  There was a larger-than-life sign on Interstate 40: CRACKER BARREL -- NEXT EXIT.

     Cracker Barrel is an inside joke with a circle of my cousins, having stopped at all the Cracker Barrels on our road trip.  Makes me smile every time I see a Cracker Barrel.  And this passage in the book really brought a smile to my face.

     I have just thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.  It is filled with fun anecdotes weaved into the success story of Barnes' road to recovery from heart surgery, weight loss, and a healthier lifestyle (which included running in a marathon.) He gives all the credit to the Lord, and his good friends (who are the kind of people we should all strive to be).  This is a 'must own' book: Spiritually uplifting, full of encouragement and laughter.


    

GRANDMOTHER'S LIBRARY: Spider Web by Earlene Fowler

I have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of another Benni Harper Mystery, and here it is! In Spider Web, Benny is in charge of putting together a memories festival. It sounds absolutely wonderful.  Earlene Fowlder's descriptive writing really makes the story come alive!  The mystery in this story is, believe it or not, NOT a dead body that Benny happens upon, but of a sniper who seems to be targeting policeman in Benny's town.  This book really has you on edge in a place or two as you are concerned not only about Benny's Police Chief hubby, but also her friend's little brother (whom Benni used to babysit) who is also on the police force.
Benny's grandmother, Dove, belongs to a quilt group that is making a graveyard quilt patterned after the one I found HERE.  I was curious and had to look it up and found this blog post on it.  What a unique story behind the quilt.  I imagine one would bring quite a price in real life, just as it did in Spider Web.  It would fit into the whole 'Vampire Mania' that seems to still be going on after the "Twilight" saga.

This is the 15th book in the series, but I cannot get enough. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the Benni Harper mysteries.

GRANNY'S SEWING ROOM: Garage Sale Quilt Update #2

 Here is another finished quilt from a quilt top I found at a garage sale:
See here for the original post.

I put some square machine embroidered 'quilt blocks' in the large green squares. 

Good practice on my embroidery machine and good quilt for charity.  I will be giving this and the other one I've finished so far (see the post on it here).

This is a close up of one of the blocks.  There are ten different ones.

Here are a couple more close ups. I guess the flash made the picture color of little off..










This and the other garage sale top I finished are going to the Children's home.

GRANDMOTHER'S LIBRARY: "In the Heart of the Sea" by Nathaniel Philbrick

In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex by Nathaniel Philbrick was quite a book to read!  In spite of the tragic details of this true story, it was a captivating tale.
This is the real event that inspired 'Moby Dick'. It says that where "Moby Dick" left off, this tale began!
This is the story of whalers of Nantucket who get attacked by an 80 foot sperm whale in the very middle of the Pacific Ocean and the horrific ordeal that follows in their 90 days at sea in tiny whaleboats.
This fascinating story is filled with details about 19th century Nantucket, the whaling industry, Quakers, the ocean, the whales, the ships, etc.These facts are all inundated in the story of the survivors along with the details of cannibalism that was necessary for survival.  Philbrick even included facts on how the body reacts to starvation and compared what the survivors went through to starvation studies.

I knew that survivors of tragic events could resort to cannibalism of dead companions, but this sad tale explains how the men decided to 'draw lots' for their survival: the first 'short straw' was who would be killed for food; the 2nd short straw was who would have to do the killing.  How terrible to need to resort to killing and eating your friend, cousin, co-worker. It is unfathomable.
Here is a picture I found done by a whaler:

And here's another picture of a sperm whale attacking a whale boat.  This was a dangerous occupation!

This is altogether a wonderful tale of nature, disaster and survival.

GRANDMOTHER'S LIBRARY: "I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced" by Nujood Ali

When I think of arranged marriages, I think of loving father's trying to do best for their children. I think of Sleeping Beauty and how she is promised to Prince Charming.  I often think it would be wonderful if I could pick the husbands for my daughters!   And, I am sure that there ARE wonderful fairy tale endings. I picture the act of children being 'betrothed' or 'married' as more of a 'promise' to get together as adults. They would still continue to live at home, but grow up knowing they are promised.  I like to dream of a picture perfect world.

 I cannot imagine hurting children because I think they are life's greatest treasures. I think my children are my greatest asset -- I am greatly blessed because of my wonderful children, and as they grew up (and sometimes still) I have taken on the role of mama bear: I would do ANYTHING to protect my children and keep them safe.

I just finished reading a story about the plight of a ten year old girl who was married off against her will to an older man. It is a heart breaking story, because this girl was not treasured by her parents or her 'husband.' The father gives her to an unkind man who ends up being a child abuser. Nujood's mother-in-law stands idly by as her son molests an innocent child and also mistreats the girl.  When Nujood tells her family of her abuse, she is told to go back and honor her 'wifely duties.'

Luckily, Nujood has a strong spirit. She recalls watching court tv shows with a friend and runs away to a courthouse, where she tells the judge that she wants a divorce. The judges, who seem to be loving parents themselves, can hardly believe what she is saying, but they do believe her and quickly step in to protect Nujood.

Nujood is granted her divorce and makes national news, which gives other children the courage to run away and ask for divorces also.  She seems to have paved the way for other girls to speak up for themselves. And now laws have been passed making it illegal for anyone under the age of 17 to get married.

This book has a happy ending, but I am sure that this kind of abuse still happens. Just as child abuse happens everywhere, even here in America.  There are wicked people in all races, cultures, countries.  But I have to believe that Nujood's story is the exception to the rule and not the typical life of the children in Yemen. Nujood does talk about the judges who helped her, and she had an uncle take her in while the divorce proceedings were going on. Yes, I have to go on believing that most people are good!  But sometimes we have to hear the sad stories to remind us that life is not always a fairy tale.

GRANDMOTHER'S SEWING ROOM: Garage Sale Quilt Update #1

 I've been working on my charity quilts. This is one of the tops that that I bought at a garage sale for $5 (see HERE ).  These 16 patches were all hand done!

I added art deco suns in the connecting blocks. I LOVE these sun patterns.  I bought them from Designs by Sick, one of my favorite sites to get designs.

Below are some close ups of some of the suns. There are ten designs, and I was able to get the complete set for only $1 (Frugal Granny!). 

The quilts are going to a children's home.

GRANDMOTHER'S LIBRARY: Industrial Magic by Kelley Armstrong

This is the first book in The Women of the Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong.  The focus of this book is Paige Winterbourne, a witch, and her half witch/half demon foster child, Savannah.  In this book, Armstrong gives details of the 'politics' of witch covens and sorcerer cabals (which are similar, it seems to me, to 'mob families.')  Paige gets involved with Lucas, the son of a major cabal, and together they are trying to solve crimes in which cabal children are victims. Things are complicated by the fact that cabal sorcerers don't look highly on witches, and Paige has been kicked out of her coven for associating with sorcerers and Savannah.  It was another fun book to read.  I am looking forward to reading the next book which is centered around Savannah's mother.